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Podcast Ep077: What Happens To Soldiers When War is Over?

A Harrowing Video Containing Explicit Language and for some, a disturbing ending.

Living

Podcast Ep077: What Happens To Soldiers When War is Over?

If you watch the video to its end, you will not like what you see. I have blended my own thoughts and feelings of what I went through with the story of others who felt unable to cope anymore.

More British Soldiers Die As a Result of Committing Suicide Than Are Killed in Battle, Figures Suggest.

Disclaimer: If you watch this video, some of you will not like what you hear. It contains explicit language. For those of you that know me, some of you will know that I suffered with PTSD after my tour of Iraq 2003. This event took place in September last year.

If you watch the video to its end, you will not like what you see. I have blended my own thoughts and feelings of what I went through with the story of others who felt unable to cope anymore.

This video is difficult to share in an open domain. For some of you, it will be disturbing.

Only Woolwich Arsenal Mental Hospital, my Battalion’s Padre and including my wife are the only ones to truly know the darkness that hid in the shadows no one else could see.

The bottom of the Rabbit hole was place where fear, anxiety and a constant feeling of guilt became more horrifying the more I tried to be normal.

Despite the fact that I did not fire a single round in anger during my tour of Iraq, this did not stop me from seeing things that were to come back and haunt me later.

A simple and suppressed memory turned into an untouchable image etched in my skull of a distraught father. His three little children asleep in a back of an old battered Mercedes. He was fucking flapping like fuck.

These kids weren’t asleep. He was begging and preying for a super hero. His beautiful little children. No hero came.

After Iraq, the ghosts followed me. They grew louder and louder screaming at me. Pulling me apart.

The mind is a powerful thing. It stopped me from truly seeing.
The memory pushed and contorted my flesh and hammered my skull punishing me for these kids.

Why was I so weak?

My subconsciousness was fighting a losing battle trying to hold my memory’s at the pit of my stomach. Losing the will to suppress them.

My subconscious mind desperately tried to sooth these memories. Tried to keep them calm. Please stay asleep. Don’t wake up, don’t wake them up.

Before you go beyond this point if you haven’t already, watch the video. Click play now.

You will not like how it ends, but it has to be this way.

Why am I telling you all this?

On the 9th October I will be attempting to complete the Three Peaks Challenge in less than 24 hours to raise money for Veteran’s Charity Combat Stress.

More on the challenge in a moment.

Right now, I ask you for two things.

1) Share this video with your entire friends list. Share it with as many serving and ex serving soldiers as you know too.

Get them to donate and share.

2) Donate £10 – £35 today by clicking on the link below.
http://www.virginmoneygiving.com/team/Veterans4Veterans

What I will do in return.

The Challenge

First up, Ben Nevis – Scotland

The highest of the peaks at 1345m, Ben Nevis starts near sea level and has a steep vertical ascent. The route converges and zig-zags to its peak. This “Pony

Track” is 10.5 miles long approx

Scafell Pike – England

As soon as this mountain is completed we will drive to Scafell Pike hugging the West Coast. De-bus and immediately attempt to scale this mountain through the night. The route we have chosen is around 6 miles long and ascends 989m.
As soon as we have completed this effort, we’ve a drive across to Wales.

The Last Leg, Snowdon – Wales

Beginning briefly as a tarmac path, it is mostly rocky with steps towards the top. We will ascend a distance of approximately 7 miles, up and down with an ascent of 723 metres

Your £10 donation will be given to Combat Stress. Every £35 you give will pay for 1 week of much needed counselling.

My last forced march was over a decade ago and to make your £10 more interesting, although physically and mentally fit, I have not and will complete any relevant training before this challenge

Why? I was completely unprepared for PTSD.

I want to feel pain and plenty of it to achieve as much money for sufferers as I can. Soldiers and their families deserve to remain together. Happy and loving life together. Really together.

The Charity, Combat Stress (0800 138 1619) are committed to helping ex-service men and women deal with PTSD and other mental illnesses.

Real Life Super Hero’s Do Exist. Sometimes, We Just Don’t See The IED That Exploded Inside Them.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post.

Remember to click share.

John

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